Spring Cleaning
by POPpop
Summary: This place is going to sparkle, damn it! Mimi is forcing them all to help clean up the loft. Things will be found and discoveries will be made. Angel is alive of course! Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: This has been bugging me for a while so I wrote it. It will be multi-chapter and mostly humor, but there will be some heavier stuff too. Oh and for readers of "Shot" and "Bug Juice" I will try to update as soon as possible. Hope you enjoy!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own either RENT or The Breakfast Club. Life sucks._**

Mimi straightened up with a long "Uunnh!" of frustration. She waited for a couple of seconds and then gritted her teeth and tried again. Once more it seemed her "call" would elicit no response, no Roger scurrying to their bedroom door to investigate into the source of his girlfriends distress. And distressed she was: as Mimi surveyed the room she was able to spot neither her knee-high Catscratch boots nor an inch of floorboard. _This place is such a pigsty _she thought.

In a last attempt to allow her lover to come to his senses and come to her aid before he found himself in _very big trouble_, Mimi bent down, dissected one of Roger's enormous shoes from the mess and hurled it aganst a wall, repeating her high-pitched grunt of frustration.

She listened. Nothing.

Okay that was it. She started out the door.

"ROGER! Where the hell are my…" And promptly found herself facedown on the floor.

Roger, Cap'n Crunch bowl in hand, was sprawled out on the couch watching The Breakfast Club with Mark, who was curled up in the armchair. Without looking up he called, "Watch out for the pile of clothes."

Mimi slowly got to her feet, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Roger," she said, slowly, "Why is there a pile of clothes _right outside the door?"_

He propped himself on one elbow and looked back at her. "It isn't right outside the door, its at an angle. You just didn't come out right."

"I mean, why is there a pile of clothes here _at all_?"

"Laundry."

Mimi looked down. "These are clean."

"Yeah…so?"

By now Mimi's eyes had narrowed so far, it was a miracle she could still see.

"_So why don't you put them away?_"

"I'll get to it, don't worry."

"No, Roger, I am worried. Why? Because I cannot remember the last time you EVER put clothes away. And where are you even planning to put them, hmmm? Your dressers are full of NOTEBOOKS and old POSTERS. I can't see the _floor _in there and there are…WHAT?!"

"Shhh," Roger was gesturing impatiently and leaning toward the TV screen, "This is one of my favorite parts."

Mimi snapped. She let out a small shriek of rage and launched herself across the room.

"Oh crap," Roger muttered, and a second later he was up and trying to defend himself against his irate girlfriends tiny fists. Mark, who had previously been ignoring the pair, now switched off the TV and watched interestedly, munching on his own bowl of cereal.

"What is the matter with her?" gasped a bewildered Roger. After a few more minutes of wrestling Mimi slowed down and eventually wrenched her fists away and stood there panting from the exertion.

Roger watched her warily. "You okay, now?"

Mimi looked at him and sighed. "No, Roger, I'm not okay. This place is filthy!" She indicated the loft. Mark and Roger looked.

"It's not that bad," Mark said defensively.

"What do you mean 'Not that bad'," Mimi cried, "Look! There are boxes of books and rolls of film and god-knows-what-else everywhere! There is stuff left from when Maureen, Collins, Benny, people we don't know lived here! This place hasn't been cleaned since it was built!"

"That's never bothered you before," Roger pointed out cautiously.

"Yeah, you never seemed to mind," Mark agreed.

"Yeah, well…I…I don't know. It just bothers me!" Mimi plopped wearily onto the couch.

"Ow!" she leapt up again. Moving a pillow she discovered her missing boots.

"I thought the couch seemed lumpier than usual," Roger muttered.

Mimi stared at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. "You know what? I have to be at work in 45 minutes. Do we have _anything _to eat besides Cap'n Crunch?"

Mark tentatively held out a bow of doughnut holes. Mimi looked into it. A couple of them had dustings of grayish-green. Wordlessly she rose, grabbed her boots, smacked both boys over the head and stalked out of the apartment.

Mark and Roger looked at each other. "Doughnut?" Mark asked offering the box.

POPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOP

Later that night as Mimi inserted her key into the lock she was starting to regret having gone off on the boys. Lately though it seemed like everything irritated her, not just the state of the loft. Oh well. She'd just have to apologize in the morning.

Said loft was about as dark as an East Village accommodation can get. Mimi started to make her way over to the bedroom door.

_Smack!_ "Aaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

A boxers-clad Roger came running out of his room. A few seconds later Mark stumbled out of his own room. He switched on the light and they both stared down at Mimi, sprawled across the floor, shrieking in broken Spanish.

"Why is the pile of CLEAN laundry in the middle of the FLOOR?!" she yelled getting to her feet.

"Because you didn't want it in the middle of the doorway?" Roger said meekly.

Mimi's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"That's IT! Tomorrow we are cleaning the loft! And let me just tell you, I am NOT going to end up doing it all myself. We are ALL going to clean the loft and that means everyone who has ever lived here that we can possibly track down and we are going to clean it until we are DONE! This place is going to SPARKLE, DAMN IT!!"

_**Conjures some scary images doesn't it? I imagine it's kind of like an infuriated Chihuahua. Anywaaaaaayyyy... There's been much debate over this, but I maintain that the little button is PERIWINKLE. Capitalized and everything. So please push the PERIWINKLE button and leave a review!**_

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	2. Chapter 2

**_AN: Hey...(peeks in doorway) I won't even try and explain myself - here's the second chapter, like, a month later. Maybe if I could put more names to fans of the story (hint, hint). Oh and by the way I am looking for a beta. If anyone is interested send me a PM. Anyhoo, on we go! _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything except of course the bean-bag chair which I let them borrow from time to time._**

Angel stirred as a bright ray of New York City spring sunlight found the tear in the curtains and beamed straight into her eyelids. She waited for the faint sounds of car alarms and pedestrians to catch up to the light and then blinked her eyes open. Her arms stretched out and met resistance. Collins mumbled.Angel turned her head and smirked when she saw him sprawled, still sound asleep, out over at least three quarters of the bed, and sent the usual silent thank-you to her late aunt, who had generously bequeathed her the queen size.

At some point during the rather warm night Collins had also managed to throw off his covers onto Angel. She now completely discarded the comforter onto the floor and turned on her side to face him.

Early into their relationship, Angel had discovered that Collins was an extremely deep sleeper. Now she grinned wickedly and reached over and traced a finger lightly down his bare chest. He mumbled again and the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

Angel stifled a giggle and reached again, toying with a nipple before running her fingers once more over his chest, down to his boxer line. Collins shivered and his body arched up a bit, but his eyes remained closed.

Angel was getting impatient and decided it was time for her lover to participate a bit more. She propped herself on an elbow, cupped his face with her hand and leaned down to her press her lips firmly against his. Collins moaned and the kiss deepened; Angel brought her hand down to rest on his chest and…

_RIIIIINNNNGGGG!_

They both sprang back with a yelp, Collins rubbing his eyes and trying to straighten clothes he didn't have on.

"No Mom, it's not what you think! We were just, uh, practicing CPR! Yeah, we…" Another ring seemed to jolt him to his senses. His voice trailed off as he realized he was in bed. He turned his head and saw Angel staring down at him.

"What were you dreaming about?" she asked trying to hide a grin.

Collins could feel himself growing warm. "Don't ask." The phone rang again. "Are you going to get that?" he asked.

"No. What were you dreaming about?" Collins tried to glare at her, but ended up just looking constipated.

"I said don't ask."

Angel snickered. "Poor suppressed little gay man," she crooned mockingly. Collins tried to glare again and she laughed.

The phone rang again and this time the machine picked up. Collins mouthed the words his voice was saying on the machine.

"_Hey, it's Collins and Angel. We're screening because there are people we're avoiding. Leave a message and if we don't call back you're one of them." _

There was a long beep and then they heard Roger's voice.

"Come on you guys, pick up, neither of you goes out before noon on Saturday." He sounded tense and his words were hushed. Angel exchanged a puzzled look with Collins before reaching over and pressing the speaker button.

"Hey Rog. So, what the hell are you doing calling us at," she glanced at the clock beside her bed, "holy crap, _8:30?! _What the hell, Roger?"

"Never mind about that," He was whispering now and he sounded panicked. "Just…just get to the loft as fast as you can. _As fast _as you can. As in now."

Collins and Angel once again exchanged puzzled glances.

"It's pretty early to be drinking, Roger," Collins said slowly.

"I'm not drinking, just for the love of God be here soon!" These last words were spoken with a high-pitched note of hysteria and then the phone was promptly clicked off.

Collins and Angel looked at each other. Then they simultaneously sprang out of bed and started to get ready to go.

POPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOP

"So what did Mark say again?" Maureen asked as she and Joanne stopped at a crosswalk.

"He just said we needed to be at the loft by 9:30," the lawyer answered. "Man, I haven't heard him that panicked since Alexi Darling caught him under the mistletoe."

Maureen laughed at the memory and then her face grew serious. "You don't think something is wrong with either Mimi or Roger do you?"

"I don't know, that's why we need to hurry. We could get there a lot faster if you weren't wearing those damn things," Joanne replied gesturing. Maureen pouted and peered down at her mile-high boots.

"That's not what you called them last night," she pointed out. Joanne smacked her lightly on he shoulder, but she was smiling. Maureen grinned.

"Why Miss Jefferson, you play so rough!" she purred.

"Shut up," Joanne laughed. Suddenly she squinted her eyes. "I thought I recognized those legs; Angel and Collins are up there."

The pair was stopped in front of the building waiting for the light to change so they could cross the street. Just then Collins spotted the two women. He turned and held out his arms grinning. Maureen squealed and miraculously broke into a run.

"Maureen, wait for me!" Joanne yelled, but Maureen kept running until she reached Collins who promptly swept her up into a bear hug, to the amusement of both Angel and several passers-by.

"Mmmm, warmth!" Maureen moaned, snuggling against the larger man. Joanne just shook her head as she caught up to them.

"Hey, is that all I am to you?" Collins laughed.

"Yes," she replied snuggling closer. Angel snickered.

"Okay, quit hogging the man," Joanne said, prying her girlfriend out of the embrace. She gave Collins a hug.

"So I'm assuming you got some manner of phone call this morning, or did you just decide to show up at the loft at 9 on a Saturday?" she asked as she pulled away. The light changed to "Walk" and they started off again.

"Yeah, Roger called us," Angel replied. "He sounded like a mouse caught in a trap."

"Yeah, Mark sounded the same way. What do you think is going on?"

"No idea. Hey look we're…" She was cut off.

"Thank God, you're finally here!" They looked up at the fire escape. Roger stood there with the keys in his hand. He tossed them down to Collins.

"And good morning to you too!" Maureen yelled, but Roger had disappeared back into the loft.

They were all getting tired of puzzled glances so this time they chose to stare at each other bewilderedly.

"They really need to clean up the water around here sometime," Collins remarked unlocking the door.

Once upstairs he raised his fist to knock, but the door opened before he got a chance.

Mark smiled weakly. "Hey, you guys."

"Hey, Mark. What's going on? Are Roger and Mimi okay?" Angel asked, her voice betraying her nervousness.

He looked puzzled for a second , then his eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously.

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that. No, that's fine. It's just…well come in, you'll see for yourself."

They filed in. Roger was sitting stiffly on the couch, his hands folded in his lap. Mark went and sat next to him. They turned to look at Mimi.

She was sitting in the armchair, legs crossed and arms folded. Her expression was unreadable as the startled other four took various seats on the other end of the couch and the bean-bag chair, but from the way Mark and Roger were looking at her, she was a bomb ready to go off at any second.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, the six of them staring at Mimi and she looking off into space. She had a slightly nauseous look about her.

"So what are we doing here?" Collins finally asked. Mimi started, as if she had been in a trance. She looked at him. The nauseous expression disappeared and she smiled slowly.

"We're cleaning," she said.

Silence. Then…

"Cleaning?" Maureen sounded puzzled.

"Yes, Maureen, cleaning," Mimi repeated. "As in picking up, throwing out, sweeping, dusting, _cleaning." _With each word her voice became more grated and Mark and Roger both winced.

"I am sick and tired of this loft being such a pigsty all the time."

Collins started to protest: "It's not that bad…" One look from Mimi stopped instantly. There were few things the philosopher was truly afraid of, and angry Latina's were pretty high up there on the list.

"_As I was saying,_ I'm just tired of coming home to a dusty, dirty home where there is nothing to eat, nothing clean to eat it on, and I can't walk two feet without tripping over a copy of _The Three Naughty Nurses _that has been here for who knows how long and by the way here you go Maureen!"

Mimi tossed said book at her. Maureen caught it and tucked it into her coat, ignoring Joanne's exasperated sigh.

"So, cleaning!" Angel said brightly.

"You got it." Mimi stood up and walked around the back of the couch between the still-cringing Mark and Roger. She lay a hand on both their shoulders.

"I sincerely hope you had no where to go today because we are going to clean this place until when, boys?" She gripped their shoulders tightly.

"Until it sparkles, damn it," they replied in monotone.

**_Hope you liked it! Anyone who can tell me where I got the title for Maureen's, um, literature gets a virtual muffin. Seriously. And now if you would please be so inclened as to push the PERIWINKLE button and leave a review I would love you forever and a day. Forget Red Bull, Reviews give my fingers wings!_**


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